If I Can Choose Again
by Yuki029
Summary: She read the letter. She laughed at her own stupidity. She laughed harder and harder, and then she broke down. She was torn to pieces. Ryosaku and tradegy too i think....


er... dunno what to say haha, hope you like it 

DISCLAIMER: me dun own PoT

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_If I can chose again. I wish I won't appear in you life._

_---_

"Echizen-san, are you sure…?"

"Even if it's only 0.01 of surviving, I'll try."

The patient went out of the doctor's office. The doctor sighed; normally his patient would never try this operation. It was advance, and terribly new. He believed that the young man had something that he could not leave. He smiled sadly.

_Like a lover._

---

"Ryoma-kun!" shouted a certain pigtailed girl. No, not anymore, she left her hair down like a beautiful waterfall, though she kept her hair long and didn't cut it.

"Hn." Ryoma nodded briefly at her. They were going out for a few years now, and were currently living together. Sakuno ran happily towards her boyfriend. She never dropped the habit of adding the '-kun' after Ryoma, no matter how Ryoma normally groaned about that.

She slipped her hand in Ryoma's arms, and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Where did you go just now?" Sakuno asked.

"Somewhere." Ryoma said slowly.

Sakuno nodded. She was curious, but than she trusted him, she just smiled and lead Ryoma to the café shop.

"I'm hungry." Sakuno stated quietly as Ryoma smirked.

"Pig."

"Mou! Ryoma-kun!" but she laughed anyway and brought him into the café.

---

_Maybe time is an antidote,_

_Or the poison that I'm taking now._

---

Ryoma hugged Sakuno from the back suddenly in a peaceful morning. Where the winter wasn't so cold, and the sun shone beautifully down.

"Ryoma-kun?"

Ryoma kept quiet and dug his head into Sakuno's shoulder. Sakuno was terribly puzzled; she bit her bottom lip and leant on Ryoma's head. She didn't know what was happening.

Ryoma sighed, what could he do? What's going to happen?

"_Echizen-san the day is confirmed. It would be one month from today." Ryoma nodded solemnly. "Echizen-san, this operation has a low percentage of…"_

"_I know." Ryoma cut what the doctor was going to say. He stood up and went away._

Ryoma raised his head while Sakuno were more puzzled. Than he gave her a smile. A genuine smile that only Sakuno have seen, than he kissed her.

---

"Ryoma-kun! Ryoma-kun!" Sakuno ran towards Ryoma excitingly. Holding a piece of paper.

"Look! It's a letter from the university! You're in!" Sakuno shouted, happily clinging on Ryoma arm. Ryoma smiled sadly, Sakuno looked confused.

"Why… are you unhappy…?"

"Am not." Ryoma smirked and patted Sakuno's head. "Why are you so happy, you don't want me to be around?" Sakuno gasped and quickly shook her head. Ryoma's university was in America, thus they could only meet every couple of months.

"I'm happy cause it's the university you wanted to go, stupid." She laughed; her laughter lightens Ryoma's heart as he loved her a lot.

---

_Don't cry, I'd never want to see you face filled with tears._

_Smile, like you've never know me._

_Smile, like you've never seen sadness._

---

"Ryoma-kun." Sakuno said quietly while she sat down beside him on the sofa. Ryoma frowned.

"When will you dropped the stupid '-kun'?"

Sakuno giggled softly, and she chanted 'Ryoma-kun' quietly just to irritate him. Ryoma smirked and tickled her. Sakuno laughed though refused to shut up, but in the end, she gave up. Who could win against the prince eh…?

"OKAY!" Sakuno shouted while still laughing. "Stop it! Ryoma! Stop it!"

Ryoma stopped while still smirking, Sakuno took out a pair of teddy bear, one was a girl and the other was a boy. The boy was holding a tennis racquet as the girl was holding a tennis ball.

Sakuno smiled as she gave the girl one to Ryoma.

"Ryoma, when you're going to the university bring this with you ne, so you'll always remember me." She paused a little and continued. "And this, is going to be mines." She smiled as she hugged the male teddy bear.

Ryoma grinned, and took the female teddy bear.

"I'll wait for you, you know." Sakuno said quietly, trying to keep her tears back. "When you come back, we'll go to the new amusement park that's building now."

Ryoma just smiled.

---

_If my wishes could come true, _

_I wish you've never known me,_

_If my wish came true,_

_I wish I could still love you._

_Even if you don't know me anymore._

---

Sakuno's hand were held tightly in Ryoma's hand as they walked quietly down the road, to catch the bus that was going far away, a bus that may separated them forever. Ryoma stopped as he saw the bus coming. Sakuno tugged him to go forward.

"Wait." He said quietly.

Sakuno looked at him, confused by his action.

"Let me stay a bit longer."

Sakuno quieted down, tears appeared in her eyes, she didn't know why, and she felt that she might loose him after he went away. She didn't what to do; they just watched the bus drove away.

"Baka. Now we need to wait for the bus for another fifteen minutes in the cold." Sakuno frowned and turned her face around not facing Ryoma. She didn't want him to see her tears. She didn't want him to think she's too weak.

Ryoma smirked, "Face me." He said shortly, Sakuno turned around and glared at her boyfriend, tears were obviously seen, she didn't know what now, her boyfriend, just smiled at her, a smile that she desired for a long time. She suddenly felt the emptiness in her, she cried freely.

Ryoma hugged her, hiding her crying face. He smiled secretly, knowing nothing would separate them, not even death.

---

_I love you._

_I love you too._

---

It had passed a few months, no letters from Ryoma, no nothing. Sakuno frowned she made billions of excuses to herself. Maybe he was too busy, maybe the stupid postman was too stupid to find this address, maybe…maybe… Sakuno sighed, hoping to death that he didn't forget.

"Excuse me? Is this Ryuzaki Sakuno?"

Sakuno turned around and found the 'stupid' postman standing behind her. Delighted she nodded and received the package from the postman, she smiled happily, a smile that she hasn't experienced for a long time.

Sakuno went into the house and she opened the package happily, and found a book, no a diary for exact. It was Ryoma's diary. She turned to the first page and found a picture of his cat, than she turned to the next page, she found a picture of herself. She smiled, and kept turning the pages. Lots of the pages were pictures of both of them, and some brief notes of what happened before and after the pictures.

She smiled and tears were formed in her eyes, she missed him for sure. She kept turning to the last page. There was a letter. It had written Sakuno's name, curious she putted down the book next to her and opened the letter.

She read the letter. A small smile craved on her mouth, and tears were trickling down. She laughed at her own stupidity. She laughed harder and harder, and then she broke down. Tears were trickling down her face freely, she couldn't stop crying anymore. She was torn to pieces.

---

_Dear Sakuno,_

_When you read this letter, I believe I am gone. I told the doctor that after two months I died, this would be sent to you. I've got cancer, and may not live any longer… so I wrote this diary. _

_Sorry I lied to you, the letter about the university… I made it up, it wasn't real. When I first heard of the news that I've cancer, all I'm scared of was that you'll get sad. Sorry I know I'm selfish, but… I don't want to see your tears, so I decided to leave…_

_I am glad; you finally decided to call me by my name only. I thought I might never hear you say that. I'm glad that you gave me the bear. _

_I'm sorry, are you crying now when you read this? I love you, please don't forget that. Nothing's going to separate us right…? Not even death. So please don't cry. Please, this may be my last wish. Please just smile for my sake._

_Love, Ryoma _

_PS: I sent the teddy bear back, please… Don't separate them._

_...I love you._

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hehe sorry for any spelling or grammar mistake 

hope you like it


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